Thank You Mr. K

Roger Daltrey, The Who frontman, is out with his autobiography, Thanks a Lot Mr Kibblewhite: My Story.

The frontman of one of the greatest bands of all time tells the story of his rise from nothing to rock 'n' roll megastar, and his wild journey as the voice of The Who.

In a perfect world, Mr. Kibblewhite is an encouraging schoolmaster whose gentle guidance and encouragement gave a young Daltry his first chance to share his voice. He is the kind of person Daltry remembers fondly and names his memoir after him as a way to honor the positive impact he's had on his life. Mr. Kibblewhite is Mr. Glen Holland, Mr. George Feeny, Mrs. Louanne Johnson.

This is not a perfect world.

Rather, Mr. Kibblewhite was the headmaster of Daltrey's Grammar school who expelled a 15-year old Daltrey after a fight at the school. “You’ll never make anything of your life, Daltrey” he said.

Motivation is a funny thing. What drives one person to become a voice of his generation will not work for someone else. To create something, to complete a project, to solve a problem, to become something, to go another mile, to make anything of your life requires personalized inspiration.

People like Daltrey, are driven by Mr K telling them what they can't do. Their response: "Screw You. I'll Show You!"

Coaches motivate. They push you to and past your limits. They correct. They celebrate victories.

Some people are driven by the pursuit of goals. Others seek acceptance and belonging.

A Drill Instructor motivates by demanding complete loyalty and respect.

Leaving a legacy, having an impact, making a mark.

Fear of failure motivates.

Negative actions can motivate beautiful outcomes.

There will always be Mr. Kibblewhites; people or occasions in our lives when negative impact drive positive outcome. Mr K says you aren't the right person for the team. Mr K whispers that you can't go any farther. You aren't good enough. The mistakes in your past disqualify you from a future of happiness or significance.

Let these things motivate you, not discourage you. "Screw You. I'll Show You!"

Sadly, I have been a Mr Kibblewhite. As a father, I fear that my kids will remember a loose word from anger or thoughtlessness and allow it to roll in their minds as a motivator. "Screw you, Dad! I'll Show you, Dad." The last thing I want is a book written by one of my kids with my name featured as a negative catalyst for a positive outcome. My Story: Thanks For Nothing Dad.

The truth is, my negative actions have motivated beautiful outcomes. I have been the reason teams have had to find better solutions or forced people to seek healthier outcomes. This is not to say that Mr K (I) is not the villain; that somehow he (I) deserves appreciation for ultimately creating one of the best rock bands ever or that he (I) has earned a deathbed pardon releasing him (me) from the responsibility of the negative impact he (I) caused. While I am happy for how these stories ended, I am not proud of the part I played in the narrative.

I would wager that Mr Kibblewhite did not remember saying what he said to Roger Daltry; he didn't know what course of circumstances he would set in motion. Still he is an integral part of Daltrey's story - and the stories of all who call themselves fans of The Who.

The same can be said of the Mr. Ks in my life: those who would not give me an opportunity, those who said I was not good enough, those who looked past my talents, experience, and education, those who gave up on me. They are part of my story and I am grateful.

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How about you? How has the negative action of a Mr. K resulted in a positive impact in your life?

What motivates you?