Pretty 'Lil Mili Wyn
- Mar 24, 2019
- 3 min read
You are 14 today.
Congratulations. You are half way to the age at which I will allow you to start dating!
I remember the day you were born. Already a week late, the doctor sent us home again; you just weren't ready. Early the next morning, your mother was ready, but you still weren't.
The doctor rushed us down the hall. The nurse put me int a room, "Here, put these on." Scrubs, a blue shower cap, and a pair of blue booties were already laid out for me. I was in that room for what seemed like a long time while your mother was taken into the room across the hall. I was beginning to think that I was going to miss your big entrance.
When they the nurse finally came to bring me to the operating room, the team was all ready to go, and your mother was a member. They all seemed to know something I didn't. "Stand here." the nurse said in a way that let me know moving from this spot or doing anything that wasn't part of her plan could, or would, result in expulsion from the room... or worse.
I could tell your mother was both concerned for what was about to happen, and excited for what would be arriving in a few minutes. She held my hand.
I held her hand as I peaked over the curtain that divided her head from her lower body. Was I supposed to be able to see what was happening down there? Did they not realize how tall I am? and did they set this curtain up too short? I shouldn't be allowed to see what is happening down there right now.
Incision, followed by the temporary removal of what appeared to be some important organs. "What's that, Doc?"
"Please, make sure that goes back before you close her up, ok?"
And then, there you were.
All the waiting, all the excitement, all the drama. And then, there you were.
Immediately, I was torn. Do I go with you and the nurses while they run a litany of tests OR do I stay with your mother while they sew her up... you know to make sure all her parts make it back in. She told me to go with you.
The rest... the entirety of the last 14 years... is a complete blur.
You were young, 4 or 5 maybe; you and I were talking about your wedding day. The idea of a father giving away the bride brought you to tears. In your mind I was walking you down the aisle to some kind of arranged marriage, giving you away to a stranger, never to be a part of your life again; giving you away because I didn't want you anymore or giving you away in an elaborate trade-up. For a little girl, yes, this is something worth crying over.
For a middle-aged man, with a 14-year daughter who is trying to hide the existence of boyfriends from me, I tear up a bit when I think about that day. That day will come sooner than I want it to. That day will happen... I will give you away to what seems like a stranger in an elaborate trade-up. I tear up a bit.
I am proud of you.
Your default is kindness and inclusion. You are thoughtful and wiser than a 14 year old should be. Smart. Beautiful. Funny. Your hard work does not go unnoticed. I trust you to recognize what is right and admire your courage to do it.
Be confident in the person you are and the person you are becoming.
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