My friend, Don.

My friend Don has written this book that has been pretty influential in my life. I've read it at least five times over the last 15 years. In it he tells some of the stories about the times he's struggled and learned something really great about God. I can identify with Don's stories. I've had a lot of the some of the same struggles.

It is hard to tell if my faith-struggles come around when I pick up the book OR if the book, somehow, calls to me when it knows I need to wrestle with God about something.

Before I tell you more about the book and what I learned in this most-recent reading of it, let me tell you about my friend Don. I call him a friend - but, he doesn't know I exist.

We did talk on the phone once though. After they turned Don's book into a movie, I wrote an online review in a sweepstakes. Write a review and win a chance to talk with the writer - Donald Miller.

I guess, not a lot of people wrote reviews in the sweepstakes, because around dinner time an Unknown Caller notice came across my phone. I thought it was going to be the cable company asking me to switch or the Firefighters Association asking me for money or something. But, it wasn't.

"Hey Jason."

It was Donald (F-ing) Miller. On my phone.

"Thanks for checking out the movie and thanks for writing the review. We really appreciate it."

I turned into a fanboy. I didn't know what to say. What can I say that will keep Don on the phone with me for a real conversation? What can I ask him? It has too be smart; Don is so smart. And witty; he likes witty.

"Thanks, I really loved the book....uh.. and the movie. They were both really great." It was my turn; that's how conversations work. I filled the silence.

"Great! Thanks again." Click.

That was it. My one and only real connection with my friend, Donald D Miller.

That was April 12, 2013. (I know that because it was opening day for the movie. I googled it today. Not because I marked it in my diary or anything like that.)

I picked up Blue Like Jazz again about a week ago. As I thumbed through the book, several passages were already underlined. I assume these are the words that during past readings triggered change, influenced thinking, or set off a new faith-struggle.

• When I struggled with knowing the nature of who God is: “I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out.”

• When I struggled with wanting to run away and become a recluse hermit: “I should have people around bugging me and getting under my skin because without people I could not grow - I could not grow in God, and I could not grow as a human.”

• I still struggle with this one: “The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: life is a story about me.”

Knowing that it would likely uncover, or possibly bring about, a new faith-struggle, I started reading my friend's book again with this quote jumping off the page,

• “...to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love."

The truth is, I haven't felt very loved or very lovable over the last few years. So, Don's stories about struggling with brokenness and accepting and giving love were especially hard to read this time around.

• “And so I have come to understand that strength, inner strength, comes from receiving love as much as it comes from giving it.”

We learn of God's love and how to experience it when we live in true community... the free exchange of love and care among a group of people committed to living life together is the primary way God shows us we are loved and lovable.

I've known this for a long time. I've experienced this. I don't need a sixth reading of my friend Don's book to tell me this is a good and healthy idea. But it is this sixth reading of this book that is motivating me to pursue it again.

Thanks Don.

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If your favorite author called you on the phone, what question would you ask?